Counting 54321
by tired-of-comformities
Summary: Sirius went through the tragedy of his friends dieing and then he was sent to Azkaban. These are his thoughts. Songfic to Thursday's Counting 54321.


**Disclaimer**: I don't own any of this, except for the teddy bear.

**A/N: **I was bored and I had nothing else to do so I wrote this. It's kind of short.

**_"Counting 5-4-3-2-1"_**

_  
5-4-3-2-1 Lets start a fire.  
We'll burn this town from inside out.  
Till no ones left alive.  
And you can't feel the rhythm of your steps when you hit the street.  
The city seems so far away from here, when you're counting every step._

Sirius stepped slowly into the now empty street, the gravel crunching under his shoes with every step he took. He stopped in front of a little girl clutching a teddy bear in her hand. He fell on his knees and reached towards the bear. It was soft and warm and comforting. "At least it wasn't painful to any of them." He told himself Tears streamed down his cheeks and fell on the cold gravel, the happenings of that day replaying in his mind countless times. It made no sense in his mind. The day was the same as any other, why did he have to do all this.

_5-4-3-2 what are you waiting for?  
The train is catching up, keep on running don't look back.  
Cause it's 10-9-8-7 everybody's coming to burn this city, burn this city down tonight.  
Leave it all behind. _

Remus had called him. He told him they were dead. As soon as he heard these words uttered from his mouth his heart plummeted. The word rang over in his head like an annoying bell. Dead. He couldn't bring himself to believe they were dead. "They are dead." Remus would say. "We all regret it, but there's nothing we can do about it now." He uttered those words without emotion. "You bastard!" he yelled while he pinned Remus to the nearest wall. "They were our best friends and you don't even show any emotion." He looked into Remus' eyes and in the corner saw a tear forming, about to take the place of the others that had occupied that place before. Sirius let him down. He didn't know what to do anymore, his best friend was killed along with his wife, and possibly their child. He still didn't believe it. No matter which way he said it he couldn't believe it. He ran. "They're dead!" yelled Remus after him. "We can't do anything anymore!" He kept on running, not daring to look back.

_All his life he lived in this same house.  
Same white fence surrounding him, he swore he would get out.  
But he can't cause his foot got caught in between the rails.  
And all his friends were up ahead  
They can't hear him yelling, yelling for some help.  
And it's much too late to call the doctor now.  
This town is full of sympathies; we're drowning in it all._

He finally reached his destination: the house of his best friend. Voldemort had killed them. He could imagine the scene as he stood in front of their gate. He probably saw death coming towards them and thought first to save his wife and son. He then would have held off the attacker, fighting mercilessly for the lives of those he loved. But he was no match for him. Not Voldemort. If only he had just ran he might've been saved. "You were always the noble one." Sirius told himself with a slight chuckle. He knew his friend would never abandon those he loved, and that's what caused his death. He opened the fence and advanced towards the door. He walked inside. He didn't want to see what he knew was there, but he felt like he had too. He thought he was ready for it, but he wasn't. his eyes lay upon those of his best friend. He could feel the tears forming in his eyes and streaming down his cheeks. They blurred his vision, but he didn't bother wiping them away. He stood there, paralyzed, unable to move. It wasn't until he heard the sound of a crying baby. He followed the sound to its source, but he wasn't ready for this either. Feet away from the crib lay the dead body a woman, the child's mother. He played with the baby for a bit and then scribbled a letter to Dumbledore. Two deaths had just happened. Two innocent people had just been killed. Yet, the people of the town were probably oblivious to it all. Two people that died. They probably cried for help, but nobody was there to hear them.

_5-4-3-2 What are you waiting for?  
The train is catching up, keep on running don't look back.  
Cause it's 10-9-8-7 everybody's coming to burn this city, burn this city down tonight.  
Leave it all behind. _

He walked away slowly from the house. He couldn't stand being near it. He couldn't help but feel this was all his fault. Then he put two and two together. Peter was their secret keeper. Peter was the only one that could speak of their location. Peter was the one that sold them out.

He ran. He was determined to catch that rat. "That little bastard could never run or apparate." He found Peter quickly. He was hunched over, wand in his hand.

"Why did you do it!?" yelled Sirius. He tried to sound demanding, but he couldn't. Not in this situation.

"The Dark Lord is stronger. He will protect me. Nobody will ever take advantage of me anymore."

"Bloody Bastard!!!" The sun was coming up. Muggles were waking up at this moment. They were already attracting a crowd. Even little kids came to see what was going on. Nobody was prepared for what happened next. Sirius took out his wand. He was fully determined to kill the rat responsible for the death of his best friend and his wife, but for some reason, he couldn't do it. He tried but the words go t stuck in his throat. The crowd was staring at them, some were mocking them. To the muggles they were just two men with sticks in their hands, not any real weapons. They were sadly mistaken. Peter smirked. There was a flash of green light and then it was over. It was all over. The bodies toppled over and fell with a thump. Sirius looked for Peter. He knew he had turned back into a rat, but he was nowhere to be found. He stepped back; wanting to run away, but he changed his mind half way.

_Is that the sound of the gate coming down? No flashing lights, no warning?  
When we press our ears to the ground we feel the shake.  
But it's under the skin, so we wilt like violets.  
Can't get up, to put the petals in their place. _

He felt guiltier than ever. He caused innocent bystanders to die and he blamed himself for his friend's death. He was the one that told James to make Peter secret keeper rather than him. He was the one the gave Peter their location, and therefore he was the one that gave it to Voldemort. He thought he was despicable. He knew the aurors and the dementors would come. He wouldn't fight them. He deserved it. Now he was just waiting for them. Waiting for them to put him where he thought he belonged.

_5-4-3-2 What are you waiting for?  
Burn this city, burn this city tonight. _

**A/N: **I thought it sucked, but my friend didn't think so, so I posted it for those that might agree with my friend.


End file.
